You never see the hard days in a photo album...but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next.

A very warm welcome to my thoughts and opinions. These lyrics from Megadeth's Peace Sells resonate with me. What do you mean, "I can't get to work on time"? I got nothing better to do And, what do you mean, "I don't pay my bills"? Why do you think I'm broke? Huh? What do you mean, "I hurt your feelings"? I didn't know you had any feelings. What do you mean, "I ain't kind"? I'm just not your kind.

me.

I have a penchant for sweet delights be it chocolate lava cakes or eye candy in my favorite tv show. I adore being a couch potato and my recent addiction is NCIS and The Big Bang Theory.

12:27 PM

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Today's horoscope on msn reads:

Taurus (April 19 - May 19)
You are the type of person who loves meeting a lot of people, dear Taurus. You feel that you must bring your friends together, so that they have a forum and can express themselves. You are good at bringing out the best in others and helping them to find a solid footing in the present, despite your love for the past. Go with the flow!

I have to admit I adore meeting alot of new people and chatting with them. Probably why I thought a job in the comms industry would fit me well. Recently I got to meet reporters from the Middle East / Dubai/ India/ UK / China. It was great just talking to them. Learning about different cultures just from the way they talk.

And I do love going out with a bunch of my frens though I haven't done so in a while. Ahem what ever happened to our ONE ROCHESTER outing? Huh? Exactly.

And yea I do love rehashing the past over and over again. I miss so many things in my life and wish like hell that I could get those precious moments back. Moments in the states, was my most carefree, most fun coz I was with people I really respected and enjoyed being myself with. Moments studying is much missed. Cramming for exams, downing cups of coffee (yes the only time i drink coffee, with my nose closed too), running away from teachers and all those great memories. I hate to think those fun great moments in my life are finito.

I'm left with getting engulfed in the fires of work. Half the time I'm either fanning them unintentionally or frantically putting them out. It's exhausting. Like all the life is sucked out of me. Someone told me today "you need to take it easy a bit". And I realised I don't think I remember to anymore. My mind is always racing to keep up. The thing is I'm still struggling to deal with work and life outside of work (which takes such a backseat its disturbing). I'm killing myself to please the world, pushing myself way above my limits. (yes melissa next time don't be an idiot and ask for "challenging" u will get what u wish for) Do I credit? Nope. Sorry I get blamed for so much shit it's just ridiculous. I spent so much of my day yesterday explaining myself, printing "black & white" to furthur bolster my case that I only made one error and not as blamed made all the errors. Mind you these errors were only viewed by one person.

I guess the saddest thing is if you make enough noise someone will hear you. And you don't even have to be credible or right. You just have to make enough noise.

To me that just isn't right. It's not like I don't have enough factors against me, I'm a female of colour not born with a golden spoon in my mouth. So yea, being just is important to me. I work so damn hard for everything. It wasn't easily achieved. Faced tons of rejection, snide remarks, outright ridicule to come where I am. You'd think someone would cut me some slack once in a while. The question is how long do I have to keep pushing myself before I completely lose myself? I mean a great weekend for me now is to sleep. And trust me I'm not the only one.