Here's the thing I keep losing track of my thoughts that I hope to pen down here.
Ugh.

1.
Singapore is second according to Country Brand Index (CBI) for dining and nightlife in the world. Second to Italy, we beat UK & USA.

What's your response to this?

"EH SI BEI SIAO AH"
We beat New York City?? Boston?? Please la. Wake up your idea. Confirm something wrong somewhere.

2.
So I've had to answer this question about my job quite often. So I decided I shall give a small peek into my world. At the same time shed some light on the entire public sector.

Yes its not my first foray into the public sector. I kind of started off in it anyway. It's a whole new world from the private sector. It'll be quite a culture shock as well. Public servants love to use abbreviations for some reason, it makes perfect sense to them. Used SO often, they start to think everyone thinks like them. Its almost like living in a cocoon. Anyway I'm not going into common complaints here, I just wanna shed some light on it.

Firstly, for all those people who think public servants have it easy. Oh they knock off like damn early, they have nothing much to do anyway bla bla. You are all a bunch of shitheads.
WTF do you know about the public service?
Are you insane?
Bloody private sector has "birthday leave" and what not leave.
We have public holidays. And weekends if we're lucky.

If you ain't working late, it just means your bloody working YOUR BUTT OFF at home!The entire nation expects SO much from you (as a rep for your company la). You are accountable and you have to deliver, there are no excuses. It's not just about the company's interests like in the private sector. It's not about profit. It's about taking responsibility. It's about 4 million whiny pots who have nothing good to say no matter what you do. You can give them $2000 progress package and they will STILL complain.

That's the thing, the public sector is a thankless job.
It's utterly thankless.
Get over it and move on.
We still have to do it for the 4 million ingrates.

In my case its about taking responsibility about the information disseminated to the press. It has to be accurate but at the same time it has to take into account the sensitivities involved. It's a nationwide thing. One wrong move and its on CNA/CH U/CH8/CH 5/radio/print media of all languages and you have the entire management on your ass. That means the majority will know the wrong information. which means your in big ass trouble.

unfortunately it also means ur at the beck n call of the press. u have to work closely with them. there are times where u do ur best to get the most accurate information out but the press misinterprets everything n you get the crap job of damage control.

ur also at the beck n call of management. but hey who isn't.

my job is unpredictable. everyday is different. everyday may or may not be an adrenaline rush, more often that not it is. but my job is never boring. i can never say that. nor can i ever say i have nothing to do sadly, coz i'm always so damn swamped i think i'm drowning everyday. just when i think the water is a tad shallow, more water is thrown in and suddenly i'm at the bloody deepest end again wondering how the hell did i get myself in this position again.

so most of time i'm so furiously treading water to keep afloat alot of things pass me by. but every once in a while, i realise, fuck man i'm really tired of treading water, can u throw me lifejacket where i can juz float for a some time? anyone know what i mean?

its juz damn tiring.

but swimming at the deep end has its perks. it juz means i'm learning a hell of alot more than i would ordinarily. oh well. let's all bear in mind, nothing is confirmed yet about this job. i'm just crossing my fingers and hoping all goes well. if not, God Bless me. that's all i can say.

3.
my life is unbelievably mundane. i swear.
my fren from perth rang me, and that was the most exciting thing this week.
i was just telling her, the most spontaneous thing i do now, is willing myself to stay awake n watch crappy tv. and say yeay, i stayed up late. only to suffer the next day at work as a zombie.

i can't bear to socialise, its just too tiring.
ever have those moments where u just wanna hide from the world?
just runaway?
i just wanna watch dvds and stone in front of the tv.
i can't even remember the girl who used to jump at ideas and fly with it.
the girl who clubbed till 3am, stayed over at her fren's place woke up at 5am and was on time for school running on pure adrenaline.
the girl who partied every so often, not all the time, but at least some of the time.
the girl who used to love her alcohol, not just water and soft drinks.
the girl who used to meet up with various groups of frens not just seeing her parents after work and knocking out.
the girl who was always up for having a good time not girl who just wanted to watch the peak at 9pm and sleep after that.

what's happened to me?
I've gone from 22 to 92.
My goodness I bet 92 year olds have more fun than I do.
Shame on me right?
But I can't help it.
I can't get myself out of this rut.
And I think a part of me doesn't wanna either.
I'm happy and comfy in my rut.

Bite me.