well i juz watched "before sunset" and i gotta admit it was really boring in the beginning. its basically these 2 nutz talkin n talkin in the entire movie. i thot they were at least gonna get it on. but they didn't.

but when u start to pay attention to what they say...its pretty amazing.

the woman mentioned how when u lose something or someone it can never be replaced. coz everyone is so different.

n how when sumtimes u feel immensely grateful to have someone in ya life and thank that person, the person thinks ur nutz.

stuff like dat i could relate to. esp the part abt replacin someone. u always try to convince yourself that it was no big loss, and that there are others out there but the older u get u realise its not true. n u'll settle for anything. Loss is hard its painful and there are so many ways we attempt to deal with it. u start to believe that maybe society's notions of what should be is correct and u start to want that. consumerism n all that. but when u take that all away, true peace is felt. we're constantly bombarded with messages n we sift through them. but its not very helpful is it? to deal with life in general.

the older u get the more nostalgic, more jaded or realistic you become. the idealism u had initially fades. pessimism sets in. or others would say realism. depending on what type of person you are.

like CNY for instance. (chinese new year for the uninitiated) its a real downer for me. all the shops are closed. no one's around almost like ghost town. u start to realise that there are lots of minorities coz they come out of their lil holes. always been there but more prominent now. i remember when i was younger before the recession even public transport didn't run. dat was a real downer. n den when the recession hit cny was juz like any other day.

well at least now there's public transport.
but shops are still closed.
ppl are not around.
tv's a bore.
n fuckin msn messenger doesn't seem to work as well as it used to. signing u in and out automatically, laggin messages, n juz refusin to sign in altogether.

on top of that kids seem so different now. remember when u were younger n ur uncles or aunts or the adults used to say "when i was a kid my dad beat me with the belt, rotan (cane) very good already" or "when i was a kid we could buy a huge bowl of noodles for 5 cents"

i feel like i've become one those old ppl. talk to teens now i mean minors n they'll tell u the 69 position is amazing. *cue my jaw droppin to the ground* or that they've had more bloody boyfrens that i could ever dream of.

am i simply conservative or is everything progressin to such a state that i can't accept it. ok that means the same thing doesn't it.

i remember only learning about sex by reading "FOREVER" by Judy Blume when i was 12. i was so grossed out i couldn't have dinner. that stuck in my mind prominently. i didn't even know about other positions other than the missionary till i was gawd knows how old.

kids now aren't even whacked coz its "child abuse" i say spare the rod and spoil the child. of course when i was being hantamed senseless i thot it was child abuse. but u look at all these spoilt brats. the way they speak n behave u juz wanna say excuz me to their parents n beat the shit outta them. how can parents allow their kids to behave in such an appalling manner? what ever happened to the times i used to know? has time progressed and and allowed our children to regress?